Train to whatever...

Watching the Korean movie Train To Busan just showed me the problems with Filipino creativity. Sa totoo lang po. I don't blame the Filipino artists, the script writers. They are all working hard and proving themselves worthy. Totoo naman yan. The problem lies with this so-called "Pilipino Pride." 

The Problem of Filipino Telenovelas

The passing of my Kuya Buddy left a big void in my daily life. Well, now I spend most of my time (other than working) reading books,  debating my own ideas, talking to the dogs, staring at the aquarium,  thinking a lot of things... Yeah, but experts says over thinking is bad.

So I have no choice but to watch TV. Getting cable is a bad idea, I am not in the position to have an additional monthly expense bill. The same of having my own Internet. It would be fun to watch YouTube daily but… I also don't have a cellphone, or  anything that will give me access to the society outside  this box where I live.

People call it "falling in love," I call it a glitch.

Glitch… a glitch is defined as a sudden, usually temporary malfunction or irregularity of equipment. That's it. Falling in love is a malfunction of my system. I should not fall in love - because… well falling in love is what normal people feel. I'm not your type of a normal person. But sometimes like a computer or a copier machine, I glitched.

Happy Mother's Day Mama...

I will never say that you're a perfect Mom. Napaka ipokrito ko naman kung sasabihin ko na perpekto ka. Napaka-plastic naman yan. We have a lot of differences. We have a lot of misunderstanding. Papa even called you Hitler. THERE ARE EVEN TIMES THAT I JUST WANT TO STRANGLE YOU. Life with you was like living in Sparta. 

Life's a piece of shit, then you die.

I am always fascinated with suicide. No, not that I'm interested in doing it, but more of a wonder - one of our brain's main purpose is to keep us comfortable and alive so how can a person just decide to end his/her life? What is also baffling is the fact that some of those who committed suicide were rich, famous, talented, beautiful. Depression sure is strange. 

With everything they have -looks, wealth, talent, power, they still feel lonely and forgotten? They have lovely homes, they live in quiet classy subdivisions or expensive condo units, they drive fast cars, they eat gourmet, they buy expensive clothes but they're depress. While here am I, trying to make ends meet, who eats tasteless gruel for breakfast and lunch, who cannot even date a girl - or even bring myself in a fancy restaurant, living in a small, square cell in a noisy, smelly city district and I get my clothes on cheap corner shops yet still clinging to life. I'm not judging them, but I'm just bewildered why so.

Maybe life is a shit, but it's better to struggle with all the shit - lights, smell, taste and noise than to have complete peace… in the dark, dead as a door knob.

P.S.

Poor people also commits suicide. You just don't get to read it in the news ofter.

John-John

Inside this old body is a little child. Yes, inside Jose, there is still a little kid named "John-John."   There's a big difference between the two: Jose is always gloomy, desperate, and looks at life in a boring way - necessities, priorities… all those dull, boring stuff.

John-John is different.  

Waking-Up Positive

The best way to start the day is something positive. I wake up at 4AM. I clean the house --- well, it's just really a small, square room but who cares? This square room is my home.

Before doing anything else, I give myself a 10 minutes of silence and I listen to a good motivational speech that I got in YouTube. I then visualize myself accomplishing all my chores for a day. If laziness will try to set-in, I always count backwards 5, 4 ,3, 2, 1 and VIOLA! I'm productive again. I scribble something in the computer. Read at least 10 pages from a book. Do some 20 minutes exercise together with my dogs, take a bath, eat breakfast while watching a TV morning show and by 6 AM I start working with my commissions.

I've been doing this morning routine for 4 days now and IT WORKS!

Memories in Boxes

Yesterday I started to place most of my memories inside boxes. That doesn't mean that I'm going to throw them away. Storing things in boxes is just for safe-keeping. There are times that certain things, whether it's a physical, tangible object, an idea or a wish becomes more of a hindrance in your life. In such cases, you have to put them away - to place them where they won't be a stumbling-block while you move your life in a new direction. It's not because you don't like them, but it's more of placing the priorities first. It not because you want to forget them, but rather because you want to preserve them till the time you have settle your Moira.

Luck?

Luck? In where I stand, there's no such thing as luck.

Nah, I'm not trying to imitate Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was just something that I was trying to think about lately. The year just ended and we are now starting to count our calendars again - 365 days. Each day is a different scenario and in each scenario, we aim to shoo away what we deem as ill fortune.

From the places of the stars to the shape of a fruit, people tend to create wild ideas on how to deter bad luck as if fruits and stars have some connection in your life. Maybe it's easier to think that 12 different rounded fruits will help make you rich than to imagine the hard work you need to do in order to get the same result.

A friend of mine once said to me that life is already preordain. Luck therefore is already destine to happen. You just need to boost it with charms and some ritual "Mambo-Jumbo." 

I disagree. There is no luck - life is something you earn. Your fate is intertwined with your hard actions together with wise decision and no fruits nor stars can do it for you.